Date With Disaster
by Fifilafemme
Summary: [Spinoff to 'He's A Lady'] What'll happen when crazy meets CrazyAnzu? Will sparks fly? Or will someone end up in the emergency room?
1. I'm Late!

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, Hello Kitty, Cookie Monster, Cadillac, Vespa or any of the characters so don't sue me:D

Note: This story is a spinoff to the story "He's A Lady". The inspiration for this spinoff is the very talented Ryuu Soba whose stories are always funny and very unique. I hope you like it and sorry it took me so long to get it up(darn math class!) :)

**I'm Late!**

"I don't get it" said Tea as she finished logging off of her computer and pouted unhappily "Why do guys always fall for crazy girls and not for me?"

The thought of SexyRedhead falling for a complete psycho was something that truly baffled Tea. After all not many people tended to fall for someone who beat them up and tried to kill him. Then again SexyRedhead wasn't exactly an average person. He was not only weird, he was also whiny, sarcastic, and absolutely one of the funniest people that Tea had ever chatted with. No matter how bad Tea felt, talking to him or reading his insane rants would always put a smile on her face.

"The way he rants about his coworkers is so funny" laughed Tea as she walked over to her dresser and began to brush out her hair "There's no way I can let him fall for that psycho!"

**CRUNCH**

A very loud crunching sound of some sort was heard coming from the bushes outside of Tea's bedroom. It sounded almost as if though someone were eating potato chips or something. Tea could care less though since she heard this exact same sound coming from the bushes almost every night. She figured that it was probably nothing more than a squirrel or some other little pest. What she didn't suspect was that it was the ultimate little pest...

_"Uh oh I think she heard me!" _thought Yugi who was hiding in the bushes holding a pair of binoculars in one hand and a bag of potato chips in the other _"I'd better eat these more quietly"_

"Well right now I can only hope that I can talk some sense into him" said Tea who decided to change her blouse so she slowly began to unbutton it "I just hope that he's willing to listen"

**CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH!**

_"Dear Ra!" _thought Yugi as he absent mindedly crammed more chips in his mouth when he realized what Tea was about to do _"This is the happiest day of my life!"_

"That stupid squirrel must be really hungry tonight" said Tea as she suddenly turned her back to the window and walked over to her closet "Now what shirt should I wear?"

_"NO!" _thought Yugi as he dropped his bag of potato chips on the ground when he saw that Tea was now facing away from him "_Turn around! For the love of Ra turn around!_"

There were so many choices in Tea's closet that it was going to be hard to choose. Her first choice was a t-shirt Tea always wore whenever she went someplace with Joey. It was black, sleeveless, and had the words "I'm With Stupid" written on it along with an arrow pointing to the right side. Oddly enough Joey still couldn't figure out why Tea always walked on his lefthand side. The second choice she had was the t-shirt she always wore when she went someplace with Tristan. It was white, sleeveless, and had the words "Hershey Kiss" on it along with the picture of a Hershey Kiss. Tristan never really understood why Tea always wore the shirt but he never asked. He never would have suspected that it was her way of making fun of his hairstyle. The third choice Tea had was the t-shirt she always wore whenever she went over to Yugi's house. It had long black sleeves, a turtleneck, and the words "Mr. Moto Get Your Eyes Off Of My Chest!" written on it. This shirt actually seemed to work since Tea never really did see much of Yugi's grandfather while wearing it.

"I don't know which one to pick!" growled Tea since all of her shirts were equally great and it was almost impossible to pick one "I want something that'll really stand out!"

After all Tea was not about to go and meet SexyRedhead in just any old shirt. She wanted a shirt that screamed "LOOK AT ME" while showing off her figure. Suddenly a lightbulb lit up over Tea's head and she reached into the closet and pulled something out.

"This is perfect!" exclaimed Tea as she spun around happily holding up what looked like a lavender sports bra in her hands "After all it's the cutest shirt that I own"

The "sports bra" was in reality a cute lavender midriff baring tanktop with the words "If You're Rich(And You're Not Seto Kaiba) Then I'm Single!". The shirt was cute, sassy, and it gave her an excuse to show off her abs. Tea was about to continue removing her blouse(much to Yugi's delight) when she realized something. The cute little tanktop just didn't go with the skirt and shoes she was wearing. So she went back to her closet and pulled out a dark blue miniskirt, a red belt with a round silver buckle, and a pair of red and black high heeled boots. She was pretty happy with her choice yet felt there was something oddly familiar about it...

"There's no time for second thoughts" said Tea as she looked down at her watch as she picked up her purse and headed out her bedroom door "I want to get to the bookstore on time after all"

"No!" cried Yugi who had been extremely excited at the thought of seeing Tea strip down to nothing but her undies "She was supposed to change her clothes!"

A few seconds later the front door to the house opened and Tea exited wearing the outfit she picked out. How she had managed to change so quickly was something that Yugi didn't understand. Tea immediately opened up the garage door and jumped into her car. When Yugi saw what Tea was wearing he was absolutely in shock by it. The thought of Tea being out alone at night and dressed in such a manner terrified him. He had to make sure she was alright so he immediately ran out of the bushes and headed towards the garage.

**VROOM!**

Before Yugi knew what was happening, Tea's car sped out of the garage at top speed and nearly flattened him. Tea didn't really notice though since Yugi was so short he was out of her range of view. Once Tea got out onto the street, Yugi immediately pulled his bicycle(complete with tassels on the handlebars) out of the bushes and began to follow her. Unfortunately this wasn't easy since he had extremely short legs...

"Musn't let her out of sight!" panted Yugi as he pedaled the bicycle as quickly as he could "Too many horny perverts out at this time!"

"I can't believe I'm finally going to meet SexyRedhead" said Tea with a slight smile on her face as she ran a red light and nearly ran over a little redhead boy "I wonder what he's like in person?"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Amelda at the top of his lungs as he stumbled through a hallway "STAY AWAY FROM ME!"

So far Amelda had spent the past half hour running around Doom Headquarters while screaming like a little sissy girl. After all his insane fear of Hello Kitty made him do irrational things. Even though the Hello Kitty plushie that triggered this was back in his room, it's effects were still with him. No matter where he ran he would end up seeing Hello Kitty's face. Whether it was the kitchen, dining room, Dartz's aromatherapy room, or the pool, Hello Kitty was there. Amelda's screams were so loud that it quickly got on some people's nerves. Before long he was not only trying to avoid Hello Kitty, but the various objects being thrown at him as well.

"Must find a way out of here!" cried Amelda as he narrowly avoided getting hit by a boot that Mai threw straight at him "Must get to that bookstore and meet CrazyAnzu!"

"Shut the Hell up you freak!" shouted Mai as she shook her fist at the crazy redhead as he ran by her "I can't hear what my boots are trying to tell me!"

"You shut up you thieving slut!" shouted Amelda as he ducked and avoided getting hit in the head by a martini glass that Dartz threw at him "I don't have to listen to you!"

"Will you shut up you imbecile?" shouted a very cranky Dartz as he opened his door and stood there dressed all in black and holding the remains of his camcorder "Can't you see I'm in mourning?"

"You're mourning over a camera?" scoffed Amelda as he turned his head back and rolled his eyes at the crazy Atlantean king "You do realize that you could always buy another-"

**POW!**

This momentary distraction was all it took for Amelda to end up slamming right into Varon's bedroom door. Varon who was currently sleeping at that moment was having a dream about Santa Claus. He was up on the roof with a gigantic sack of gifts and that were all labeled "To Varon". Santa jumped into the chimney but he was so fat that he ended up getting stuck. The poor fat man wiggled his legs and before long he managed to loosen himself and fall all the way down the chimney. The moment Santa hit the ground was also the exact same moment that Amelda hit the door. So when Varon heard the loud crash he immediately woke up and jumped out of bed believing that Santa really was there.

"Santa?" cried Varon as he happily ran over and flung his bedroom door open expected to find a jolly fat man with presents " What did you bring-Hey you're not Santa Claus!"

"Unnh..." groaned Amelda as he lay there on the ground seeing hearts, stars, clovers, horseshoes, blue moons, pots of gold, rainbows, and a red balloon "Is it time for breakfast already?"

"Breakfast?" cried Varon as he kicked the redhead as hard as he could with one of his new Cookie Monster slippers "What I want to know is what you did to Santa Claus!"

Dartz and Mai just rolled their eyes since they couldn't believe they were surrounded by such morons. Apparently Raphael had heard the loud crashing sound since he emerged from his bedroom as well. He was currently holding his credit card in one hand and a telephone in the other which meant he'd probably been buying more junk. At times Dartz was tempted to snap Raphael's credit cards in half just to see what he'd do. Raphael pushed Varon aside and knelt down to see if Amelda was alright.

"Evil..." muttered Amelda who was curled up in a fetal position and had a crazed look in his grey eyes "Evil feline demon from the depths of Hell..."

"Well either he's on a trip to the 'psychedelic factory' like I was earlier" said Raphael after examining the redhead who was now beginning to twitch violently "Or he's been traumatized by something"

"_I would take a trip to the psychedelic factory too" _thought Dartz as he looked down at what was once his beloved camcorder _"But I don't remember where I left my bong"_

"Traumatized my foot!" shouted Mai as she stomped her foot impatiently since nobody had said anything about her new boots "I bet this idiot's just faking it to get some attention!"

"You know I think you're right Raph" said Varon with a sudden snicker as he looked down at the redhead who was still twitching and muttering to himself "He's acting almost as if though he saw...HELLO KITTY!"

As soon as Varon said this, Amelda jumped up and ran away screaming louder than ever. Varon burst into wild laughter while Mai and Dartz just scoffed and headed back to their rooms. After all it was kind of funny/sad/pathetic to see someone fear a fictional character so much. Raphael simply shook his head and returned to his room in order to finish his purchase of a "Guardian Eatos In A Bottle".

Amelda was so terrified that he didn't even know or care where he was going. The only thing on his mind was getting away from that wretchedly evil feline that tormented him since his fourth birthday party. Suddenly Amelda tripped, fell flat on his face, but when he looked up he almost cried from joy. There were four motorcycles, a black Hummer, a mint green Cadillac convertible from the 1950s, and a powder blue Vespa scooter parked in front of him. He had finally managed to find his way to the garage and would be able to leave Doom Headquarters.

"Yes!" shouted Amelda as he quickly pulled himself to his feet and immediately went over to his shiny red motorcycle "Now I can finally get out of here and to that bookstore!".

Amelda's happiness was very short lived though when he realized that he had forgotten to do something very important: put gas in his motorcycle. To make matters worse he didn't even have enough gas to make it to the gas station down the street. He growled in frustration since he was already in a hurry and didn't have time to get a gas canister, walk over to the gas station, and then back. All was not lost though since there were still three other motorcycles left. Unfortunately he didn't have the key to Raphael's motorcycle and Varon's motorcycle was also out of gas. Mai's motorcycle was the only motorcycle that had both the key and a full tank of gas, but he refused to take it. He would much rather take the bus than ride a motorcycle that belonged to that copycat skank.

"Wait I know!" exclaimed Amelda as he looked back and realized that he still had some choices left "I'll take the Hummer!"

Amelda immediately jumped into the Hummer, turned the key, but the car wouldn't even start. If there was no gas in the motorcycles what made him think that there'd be any in the Hummer? At this point he was really pissed off so he got out of the Hummer and realized that he had reached the bottom of the barrel. The Cadillac was the only car with both gas and the keys in the ignition. Unfortunately it also happened to be the ugliest thing in the entire garage. The car had a leopard print interior, fuzzy dice on mirror, and also happened to be Dartz's pride and joy. The only other option left was the cute looking little Vespa scooter that also happened to have a full tank of gas. It was probably due to the fact that it was so girly looking that nobody(not even Mai) ever rode it. Suddenly the bus began to look more and more appealing...

"I don't want to keep CrazyAnzu waiting"said Amelda as he looked down at his watch and realized it was almost time to meet his online friend "So I guess I'll have to pick one...but which evil is lesser?"

To Be Continued...

Author's Note: Well Amelda's in quite a dilema isn't he? He's either got to pick between Dartz's creepy old Cadillac or a little girly scooter. Which one do you think he should take? I'd like to hear what you guys think :) Oh and Amelda's fear of Hello Kitty will eventually be explained(in case anyone was wondering)


	2. Just A Look

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, Hummer, Vespa, Cadillac, or any of the characters so don't sue me:D

**Just A Look**

"My poor camcorder!" sniffled Dartz as he walked into the kitchen and went right up to the refrigerator "You were much too beautiful for this cruel world!"

As if finding out that "Sex And The City" wasn't going to be shown wasn't bad enough, Dartz's camcorder had to break as well. Even though he only had the camcorder for a day, it brought him lots of joy. The camcorder allowed him to see a new world where minions could get high and humiliate themselves, get beaten up by female wrestlers, or be transformed into girls. It also made him realize that he didn't have to wait for the three morons to do anything stupid, he could just punish them for the Hell of it. So when the camcorder broke, Dartz didn't just lose a friend and a confidante. He also lost the only source of cheap fun a ten thousand year old Atlantean King could have without going to a sorority house on a panty raid. Dartz was so heartbroken that he decided to seek out the one thing that could comfort him: food. Yes there was nothing like a big bowl of Triple Fudge Caramel Ripple Ooey Gooey Chocolate Fantasy ice cream to make Dartz feel happy. There was just one problem though...

"It's all gone?" cried Dartz as he looked at the empty pint in his hand and then back up at the freezer "Luckily I have a backup just in case"

So Dartz pushed aside a frozen pizza, a box of fishsticks, frozen muffins, and a box of soy nuggets. Surely enough there was a pint of ice cream hidden in the back of the freezer. He then pulled it out of the freezer, tore off the lid, and eagerly awaited the sweetness that lay within.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE GREAT LEVIATHAN?" screamed Dartz when he looked down and realized that this pint was also empty "WHO KEEPS EATING MY ICE CREAM?"

"Mmmm" said Mai as she sat on her bed reading a fashion magazine while eating an enormous bowl of Triple Fudge Caramel Ripple Ooey Gooey Chocolate Fantasy ice cream "I can't believe someone hid ice cream this good all the way in the back of the freezer!"

After being forced to endure Amelda's pointless shouting, Mai was feeling quite cranky. Whenever Mai was feeling cranky, a snack would always calm her down. So she went to the kitchen and intended to get a healthy snack in order to maintain her sexy figure. As she reached up into the cupboard for her rice cakes, she realized something: her rice cakes were now rice dust. After all there was nothing Amelda enjoyed more than practicing his flamenco dancing on Mai's rice cakes. Mai growled in frustration and decided to get even with him. So she marched over to the freezer and prepared to stomp his beloved muffins into crumbs. Unfortunately she couldn't see them, so she began to dig around. It was during her search for the muffins that she happened to stumble across a pint of ice cream. Not just any ice cream though, the most delicious ice cream ever made. Mai completely forgot her revenge and quickly filled a bowl, put the pint back, and ran back to her bedroom. So while she enjoyed the ice cream, Dartz was on the verge of beating someone senseless.

"Stupid greedy pigs!" screamed Dartz as he slammed the freezer door shut and immediately stomped out of the kitchen "I need my ice cream and I need it now!"

Although Dartz intended to punish whoever ate his ice cream, he would deal with them later. Right now he needed his ice cream and he wouldn't be able to function until he got his fix. So he immediately headed down to the garage in order to get his car and head down to the store for some. Just thinking of the car put a smile on Dartz's face. After all there was nothing like cruising along in the beautiful Cadillac Convertible with the wind blowing through his long silky hair. In fact Dartz loved his car so much that he nicknamed it "Mint n' Chip" since it was the color of mint ice cream.

"Ahhh sweet memories" said Dartz happily as he reached the garage, opened the door, and flipped on the light switch "But soon I'll be-"

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

As soon as Dartz saw the sight in front of him, he immediately felt weak and fell to his knees. The once neat and somewhat orderly garage now looked more like Varon's messy room. There were paint cans, old Christmas decorations, and sports equipment lying all over the ground. The three motorcycles that stood side by side were toppled over like dominos. Oddly enough Mai's motorcycle was still standing though. The once beautiful shiny black Hummer now had a gigantic spot of pink paint on it as well. Dartz could honestly care less about this, but there was one thing that nearly killed him. His once beautiful mint green Cadillac convertible now a mint green pile of wreckage.

"Why did this have to happen to you Mint n'Chip?" cried Dartz as he threw himself on what was left of his beloved car "Why must the good die so young?"

Now that his beautiful car had been destroyed, Dartz felt that he had lost a part of himself. Mint n' Chip had always been the faithful friend who went with him on ice cream runs, panty raids, and Vegas trips. Now he had lost yet another friend in a single day. Right now the only thing he could do was find a way to get ice cream and think of a way to punish whoever did this to Mint n' Chip. _Hmm maybe I can get those idiots to pull my rickshaw..._

"So what's your name cutie?" asked Odion as he sat in a red sportscar and gazed at the stunning beauty that had just pulled up next to him "My name's Odion"

_"I'm a few seconds away from shooting myself" _thought Amelda as he sat there on the powder blue Vespa Scooter wishing he could just disappear _"I'm getting so sick of this!"_

So far riding the scooter was far more horrible than Amelda had expected. Even though he usually got hit on by other men, the scooter only made it worse. Why? Because it helped convince people that Amelda really was a girl. After all what kind of guy would drive such a girly looking scooter? So as Amelda drove down the street, he got dozens of whistles and catcalls. So far he had been called Cutie, Baby, Hottie, and his least favorite: Mamacita. As if that wasn't bad enough, whenever he stopped at a light he'd have guys hit on him as well. Among these were some frat boys, Yami Bakura, Yugi's grandfather, and now Odion. It was the worst night ever...

"_As pissed off as I am right now" _thought Amelda as he looked up at the light and prayed that it turned green as quickly as possible _"I brought this on myself"_

As horrible as the drive had been, Amelda couldn't blame anyone but himself. After all he had been the one who decided to try and take Dartz's Cadillac despite one little fact: He couldn't drive a stick. Although Amelda could easily fly planes and helicopters, ride a motorcycle, and rollerblade on one leg, he never learned now to drive a stick. Then Dartz never taught Raphael or Varon either since he didn't want any of them to drive his car. This didn't stop Amelda though since he was determined to get to his meeting with CrazyAnzu. So he got into the car, grabbed the gearshift, and was ready to go. Unfortunately he didn't realize that he'd just put the car in reverse until he ended up crashing into the motorcycles. Amelda immediately realized his mistake and quickly shifted gears once again. The car did go forward this time, but it did so at over 100mph and right into a wall. The impact caused several of the shelves in the garage to break and sent a shower of debris down to the ground. Among these was an open can of pink paint that fell right on top of the Hummer. Although Amelda was alright since the airbags(also leopard print) deflated, he knew he wouldn't be for long. Dartz's beloved car now looked more like an accordion than a car. Without further thinking he ran over to the scooter, started it up, and sped out of the garage at full speed.

_"Maybe I'll get lucky and he'll blame it on Varon" _thought Amelda as he continued to ignore Odion as best as he could _"After all he's usually the one he blames whenever something happens"_

"Hey do you like Thai food? I've got some!" said Odion as he suddenly showed him a bag that had been sitting on the passenger seat "How about you join me for dinner?"

_"Why am I cursed like this?" _thought Amelda who felt as if though he had been sitting at the stop light for an eternity _"COME ON TURN GREEN ALREADY!"_

"If you don't like Thai food then maybe we can get something else" said Odion in an attempt to get this enchanting beauty to speak to him somehow "What do you say?"

"Listen I've got news for you!" snapped Amelda as he pulled off his sunglasses and looked at Odion right in the eye "I don't know what you're thinking but-"

"Your voice is like an angel!" cried out an overjoyed Odion now that this redhead enchantress had actually spoken to him "It's far more beautiful than I ever could have imagined!"

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" screamed a very pissed off Amelda since he knew for a fact that his voice was anything but feminine "I'M NOT A GIR-"

**VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

"OUT OF MY WAY LOSERS!" screamed Tea as she sped down the intersection not caring about who or what she ran over "I'M LATE FOR A VERY IMPORTANT DATE!"

As Tea's car sped down the intersection, the entire street began to shake as if though there were an earthquake. After all she was behind the wheel of the biggest and most badass car that Odion or Amelda had ever seen. It was a gigantic candy apple red Hummer that was as tall and wide as a bus, had spiked rims, and a bumper sticker that read "If You Can Read This Then You're Probably Under My Tires By Now". In fact Tea's Hummer made the one back at Doom Headquarters look like a girly little toy. As the car finally passed them, Amelda got a look at the licence plates. The back licence plate read "CRZYANZU"...

"It's her!" cried Amelda as his grey eyes opened wide in shock when he realized who was behind the wheel of this land behemoth "I have to go after her!"

Even though the light was still red, Amelda sped off after the Hummer. The reason for this was because now he was going to have to get to the bookstore before CrazyAnzu. After all now that he had seen what she drove, he knew that he couldn't be late at all. If he was then he might end up trapped under the wheels of her car.

"Hey wait!" cried Odion when he saw the beautiful redhead girl speed off into the distance on her cute little scooter "You didn't tell me if you wanted to join me for dinner!"

"Must protect my sweet Tea" panted an extremely exhausted Yugi as he slowly pedaled his bicycle down the street in a feeble attempt to keep up with Tea "M-Must keep perverts away from her!"

"She's gone!" said Odion with a disappointed look on his face as he looked at the bag of Thai food sitting next to him "Now who am I going to share this Thai food with?"

"T-Thai food?" said a super exhausted Yugi as he suddenly stopped pedaling his bike and looked over at Odion "I like Thai food..."

"Thai food?" said Odion as he quickly hid the food and sped off as quickly as he could "Sorry never even heard of it!"

So once Odion was gone, Yugi resumed pedaling his bike. After all it didn't matter how tired he was or how many times he had fallen off his bike, the only thing that mattered was keeping Tea safe. After all she was like a delicate flower that needed his care and protection...

**VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" cried several people as they were nearly run down by Tea's Hummer as she entered the bookstore's parking lot at full speed "RUN!"

Everyone knew that when Tea's Hummer was in sight, the logical thing to do was run. After all she thought nothing of driving over other cars, pedestrians, and just about any other thing that was in her way. Surely enough Tea's car jumped up and began to drive over a row of cars in an attempt to get a spot right in front of the store. Even though she was causing thousands of dollars of destruction in the process, no one dared to say anything. Why? Because they knew they didn't stand a chance if she decided to run them down in her car. So after finally getting the parking spot she wanted, Tea took the key out of the ignition and looked down at her watch. She smiled happily when she realized that she was right on time.

"I hope my outfit looks alright" said Tea as she carefully got out of her car and looked at her reflection on her car's shiny red paint "After all I want to make a good first impression!"

Once Tea was satisfied with her appearance, she walked into the bookstore in a very ladylike manner. There was no way anyone could have imagined that such a harmless looking girl was the one responsible for the destruction in the parking lot.

"Oh crap she's already here!" said Amelda as he entered the parking lot and saw the path of destruction Tea's Hummer had left "If she asks I'll say I was stuck in traffic!"

After driving around the pile of flaming wreckage, Amelda was able to find a spot. It was right next to the remains of what he was fairly certain had once been a school bus. He then quickly ran towards the entrance of the bookstore, but not before stopping to stare at the massive red Hummer. Up close it was far bigger and more impressive than he had ever imagined. After he was through admiring it, he quickly ran into the bookstore. He could only pray that she hadn't noticed he barely shown up, but that's when he realized something...

"I don't know what CrazyAnzu looks like!" said Amelda as he stopped dead in his tracks with a confused look on his face "How am I supposed to find her?"

To Be Continued...

Author's Notes: Thank you so much for the reviews of the first chapter! I'm glad to see so many of you are liking the idea of this spinoff. On a small note I know I didn't mention what kind of car Tea drove in the last chapter. I wanted to give her something crazy but it didn't occur to me until I wrote this chapter. Oh and in case anyone was wondering, Yugi was just hungry. :D


	3. Faster My Pretties

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, Neopets, Ferrari, Kentucky Fried Chicken or any of the characters so don't sue me:D

**Faster My Pretties!**

"Great..just greatgroaned Tea as she slowly staggered around the first floor of the bookstore in search of a way to get up to the second floorFirst I forget to ask what SexyRedhead looks like and now this..."

After stepping into the bookstore, Tea simply stood there in awe for a few seconds. After all "Domino Books" was a huge three story bookstore filled with hundreds of books and all sorts of people. Tea beamed excitedly since she knew that one of these people was SexyRedhead, but then it hit her...

**POW!**

"OW!" cried Tea as something suddenly flew out of nowhere and struck her right in the head "What was that?"

The moment Tea looked down on the ground, she realized that the object that struck her was a book. Not just any book, a book with the picture of a smiling kangaroo wearing a hat on the cover. Upon picking it up, Tea noticed that the book was entitled "Learn To Speak Aussie: The Anklebiter Edition". Before Tea could even question who would read such a book, a young brown haired boy with blue eyes skipped right up to her.

"Yay!" cried young Valon in an very fake sounding Australian accent as he looked up at Tea and held out his little hands "Ya found my book sheila!"

"This is your book?" asked Tea as she looked down at the little boy whose hair was so big and pointy that it rivaled Yugi's "Why did you throw it at me?"

"I didn' throw it sheila!" said the little boy very innocently as he continued to look up at Tea with his large sky blue eyes "Raf was readin' it to me when Alister grabbed it an' threw it!"

"That's because I couldn't take it anymore!" cried a slightly older boy with messy looking red hair as he ran up with a crazed look on his face "I..."

Upon finding out that "Sex And The City" wasn't going to be on, Valon's mom got upset. The show was the most important part of her day and without it she became extremely cranky and unable to deal with her son. She had never been able to forget the time Valon traded the family cat for some jellybeans. So to avoid a headache, the woman took Valon to the bookstore located right down the street. Once there she gave him $5 and told him to stay there for at least an hour. Although Valon was bored out of his mind at first, he was soon joined by Alister and Rafael. After all their moms were also cranky because their favorite show wasn't on. So what could three kids do in order to pass time in a bookstore? Valon wanted to throw books, while Alister wanted to run up the escalator. Rafael on the other hand knew how destructive these two were, so he looked around for ideas. He noticed a book with a kangaroo on the cover so he quickly snatched it up and suggested reading it. Alister scoffed at the idea, but Valon actually wanted to hear the story. The book wasn't a story though, it was actually a child's guide on how to speak "Aussie". Either way Valon liked the book and almost immediately began to speak in a fake Australian accent. Unfortunately this drove Alister crazy up to the point where he snatched the book and threw it as far away as he could. He just never imagined it would hit the first girl that he had ever gotten a crush on...

"I don't know why Rafael threw the book!" lied Alister as he stared at Tea's sassy shirt and then at her dangerously short skirt "But I'm sure he's really sorry"

"Hey you're the one who threw that book!" said an even older boy with blonde hair as he walked up to the redhead with an annoyed look on his face "So don't try and blame it on me!"

"I didn't throw it!" cried Alister whose face went completely red and nearly burst into tears at that moment "You're lying!

"Yes ya did mate!" cried young Valon whose accent was beginning to get more and more annoying by the minute "I saw it with me' own eyes!"

"Well I guess you didn't really mean to hit me" said Tea as she held out the book for young Valon to take "So here's your book"

"Thanks!" cried Valon as he happily snatched up the book which he wanted Rafael to read to him once again "You're okay for someone that's got cooties!"

After getting hit in the head with a book, Tea decided that maybe she should walk around. After all a moving target was alot harder to hit than a station one. Although she had no idea what SexyRedhead looked like, there were two things she was certain. First of all Tea knew that SexyRedhead was indeed a redhead since she once asked him about it. After all Yugi's screen name was "HotStuff" and there was nothing really hot about him. The second thing Tea knew was that SexyRedhead was nineteen years old. So all she had to do was keep her eyes peeled for a redhead teenage male. How hard could it be?

_"Well this has been pointless so far" _thought Amelda as he slowly walked out of the mens room and ignored some of the glances he got _"Then again do I even know what I'm looking for?"_

So far Amelda had spent the last ten minutes roaming all around the first floor of the bookstore. It had been the ten most horrible minutes that he had ever experienced. First Amelda wandered into the study area where he was immediately hit on by some college boys. They wanted to know if he'd help them study for a "female anatomy" test. So after whacking them all senseless with a nearby chair, Amelda went into the poetry section. Unfortunately the poetry section was inhabited a group of beatniks. After about ten seconds of listening to bad poetry, bongo playing, and finger snapping, Amelda couldn't take it anymore. So he ran into the mens room and tried to think about what he should do.

"Well all I know about CrazyAnzu is that she's sixteen..." said Amelda as he slowly scanned the first floor of the bookstore "So I guess I should look for a teenage girl"

So Amelda began to walk around and kept his eyes open for a teenage girl. He wasn't having much luck though since the only females he could find were either too young or too old to be CrazyAnzu. After awhile Amelda noticed a few women exiting the section in which the romance novels were kept. Although he had a feeling CrazyAnzu probably wasn't the type to read romance novels, he decided to check anyways. What he found though was extremely disturbing...

"Ahh how could he do that to Brunhilde?" cried Siegfried as tears streamed down his face as he read a copy of "For The Love Of A Valkyrie" by S. Von Schroeder "He doesn't deserve her love!"

"Hey look at this book Siegfried!" cried Leon happily as he pulled yet another book from the gigantic stack of books next to him "It's all about how to care for Neopets!"

"Shhh! Not now Leon!" said Siegfried as he pulled out a handkerchief with a rose emblem embroidered on it to wipe away his tears "This book is just so moving!"

"Uh Siegfried..." said Leon who shook his head as he looked over at his brother who had been crying like a little girl since he picked up the book "You wrote that book..."

"And I completely outdid myself when I wrote this!" cried Siegfried as he sniffled and blew his nose with the handkerchief "How could I possibly top such complete and utter perfection?"

At that moment Amelda was filled with an overwhelming urge to grab Siegfried and beat him senseless. After all whenever Dartz got extremely high or wasted, he'd make Raphael or Amelda read him a bedtime story. Among the books that Dartz liked was "For The Love Of A Valkyrie". At this point both Raphael and Amelda had read the book so many times that they knew it by heart. How they loathed whoever wrote such a wretched story...

_"I won't beat him up now since I still have to find CrazyAnzu" _thought Amelda as he walked out of the romance section, but made a mental note of what Siegfried looked like _"But I'll take care of you later on S. Von Schroeder!"_

**POW**

"OWWW!" cried Amelda as suddenly something struck him across the back and he quickly spun around to see what it was "What was that?"

Upon turning around, Amelda didn't see any signs of what could have possibly struck him. Suddenly he heard someone clear their throat, so he looked down and found himself looking at an old lady. She was a little old lady wearing big glasses, a shawl, a purple hat with a flower, and she had a wooden cane in her hand. At first Amelda doubted that this tiny old woman was the one that hit him, but then she raised her cane and poked him right in the bellybutton.

"What on Earth is wrong with young women nowadays?" said the old lady as she shook her head in disgust while poking Amelda as hard as she could "You look like a common whore!"

"WHAT?"

"You heard me!" said the old lady as she raised her cane and poked Amelda right where she believed he had boobs "Now put some decent clothes on young lady!"

"Look lady I hate to break it to you" said Amelda as he pushed the old woman's cane away from his chest "But I'm a man!"

"Y-You're a man?" asked the old woman as she adjusted her glasses and looked at the person standing in front of her with a confused look on her face "Are you sure?"

"Yes!" cried Amelda who couldn't understand why everyone had such a hard time believing that he truly was a man "Now why-W-What are you doing?"

"Just because you're flat chested doesn't mean you're a man" said the old lady as she suddenly used her cane to pull up Amelda's tanktop and stare at his bare chest "But it doesn't give you an excuse to dress like a hoochie either"

"Hoochie?"

"You have one of the most beautiful faces I've ever seen" said the old woman as she brought her cane back down and gave Amelda a sincere smile "I'm sure you'll be able to find a man without having to dress like a whore"

With that the little old lady just hobbled off and left Amelda standing there looking down at his body. Never in his life did he think he'd actually get hit with a cane and be accused of dressing like a tramp. It was times like these that he gave thanks that no one he knew had been around to see what had happened. At that moment Amelda heard some girls giggling and he noticed some teenage girls coming down the escalator. He wondered if one of these girls could be CrazyAnzu, so he walked towards them. The girls immediately gave Amelda jealous looks and he distinctly heard one of them call him a "slut". So maybe these girls weren't CrazyAnzu, but there were two entire floors that he hadn't explored yet...

_"Hopefully she's on this next floor" _thought Amelda as he got on the escalator and rubbed his bare midriff for a moment _"After all I don't want to be here a moment longer than necessary..."_

"MEOW!"

"YAH!" shouted Dartz as he sped down the street in a chariot pulled by at least twenty stray cats "FASTER MY PRETTIES!"

After spending nearly half an hour unsuccessfully searching for his rickshaw, Dartz finally gave up. He could have sworn that he had left it in one of the storage rooms along with a sign that read "Use In Case Of Emergency". What Dartz didn't know was that his rickshaw had indeed been used for an emergency. After all one day when Varon was alone at headquarters, a nice old man came to the door selling magic beans. The beans were pretty rainbow colors and were the coolest thing Varon had ever seen, but unfortunately he was completely broke. This wasn't a problem though since the old man accepted other forms of payment. So after running around headquarters like crazy, Varon finally found something to give the old man: a rickshaw. For one thing it had "Use In Case Of Emergency" written on it and this was an emergency. Besides who would miss a crummy old rickshaw anyways? So after handing the rickshaw over, Varon finally got his magic rainbow beans. It turned out that the "magic beans" were in reality just jellybeans, but at least they tasted good. Luckily(for Varon), Dartz happened to come across a really crummy old room inhabited by dozens of stray cats. Among the cats though, lay the answer to Dartz's prayer: a chariot. So after rounding up and tying all of the cats to the chariot, Dartz sped out the front door at full speed.

"MEOW!"

"Ahh nothing beats the simple joys of a feline powered chariot!" remarked Dartz before the cats came to a sudden stop which nearly caused him to fly out of his chariot "Now on to the-What in the name of the Great Leviathan is going on?"

Although Dartz had been making good time, he hadn't counted on his cats being frightened by the honking of car horns. Then again the sound was almost deafening since there were at least a hundred cars, trucks, and buses ahead of them. The traffic was backed up as far as the eye could see, and the drivers were getting restless. Many were honking, shouting, swearing, and throwing things. Then again nobody really knew what the cause of the backup was.

"Come on hurry up!" cried Vivian Wong who was behind the wheel of a shiny red sports as she honked her horn "Otherwise I'll lose the sexy hunk in the red Ferrari that I was stalk...er I mean following!"

"Hey get this traffic moving!" shouted Rebecca from the passenger seat of her grandfather's motor home "I have to get down to the bookstore!"

"Can't we get going already?" shouted Espa Roba as he drove a minivan with all of his brothers piled up in the back "Do you have any idea how many times I've been asked if we're there yet?"

"Fifty six times!" cried out one of Espa Roba's younger brothers proudly as he held up his little fingers indicating that he had kept count "So...are we there yet?"

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Espa Roba as he began to honk his horn as desperately as he could "GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

"Seto!" cried Mokuba as he suddenly ran by on the sidewalk holding what appeared to be a piece of fried chicken in his hand "Where are you?"

"Oh it's merely a traffic jam, but it doesn't affect me" said Dartz in a jaded tone of voice as he tossed his hair and tightened the reigns on his felines "After all I'm in a chariot so I can easily get by!"

"YAH!"

"MEOW!"

The cats immediately began to run and Dartz's chariot was speeding down the street once again. The felines were truly a marvel because in a few seconds they completely managed to pass almost all the cars. In fact they were so fast that Dartz finally got to see exactly what had caused such an awful traffic jam.

"Tea..." whimpered Yugi as he pedaled his bicycle very slowly and was completely oblivious to the traffic jam he was causing "Must keep her away from perverts..."

"GET OUT OF THE DAMN ROAD YOU MIDGET!" shouted a very pissed of Seto Kaiba who was driving a shiny red Ferrari but was stuck right behind Yugi "DON'T THINK I WON'T RUN YOU OVER!"

Losing the most beautiful trenchcoat he had ever seen completely upset Seto. Never in his life had he seen such beauty and perfection, but it somehow slipped through his fingers and was gone. Where such a lovely creation had gone was something that Seto would probably never find out. At this point nothing else mattered and all Seto could do was mourn the loss of the trenchcoat. Mokuba didn't like seeing his brother like this, so he suggested going out for fried chicken. Even nice crispy drumsticks were of no use since though since Seto was too upset to eat. In fact he simply want back to his car and decided to drive around to ease his pain. Too bad he didn't realize that he had left Mokuba back at Kentucky Fried Chicken...

"First that trenchcoat and now this!" growled Seto as he tightened his grip on the steering wheel and floored it "DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU!"

"My sweet delicate flower..." said Yugi as he continued to take his sweet time as he pedaled his bike down the street "I won't let them-"

**POW**

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Not only did Seto hit Yugi, he actually managed to send him and his bicycle flying high into the sky. As soon as Yugi was out of the way, traffic went back to normal and everyone was happy. Mokuba eventually appeared as well but by now his piece of chicken was gone and he was completely out of breath. He had no choice to keep going though or else he'd never catch up to Seto. Meanwhile Dartz's chariot had come to stop and he was looking up into the sky with a pair of binoculars in hand.

"I had no idea that someone could fly up so high after being hit by a car" said Dartz as he looked up at Yugi who was still sailing high up in the air "It's a good thing to know for when I catch the person who destroyed my car!"

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

"And it seems that little shrimp is finally falling out of the air" said Dartz as he watched Yugi and his bicycle beginning to descend at very high speed "And he should be here in 3, 2, 1"

**POW!**

"W-WHAT IN RA'S NAME JUST HAPPENED?" cried a very shocked looking Yami as he and Yugi's bicycle landed on top of a nearby parked car "WHAT WAS MY HIKARI DOING THAT INVOLVED FLYING THROUGH THE AIR?"

"Well well if it isn't the almighty Pharoah who couldn't dance even if his life depended on it" chuckled Dartz as he tossed his hair and glanced over at Yami "Tell me Pharoah...do you always ride a little girl's bicycle?"

"For your information this is Yugi's bicycle" said Yami in an annoyed tone of voice as he slowly got off from on top of the car and pulled the bicycle down "But at least it's superior to what you're riding around in"

"Nothing can surpass my almighty feline chariot!" shouted Dartz as one of the cats suddenly began making strange sounds before hacking a hairball up near Yami's feet "Take that!"

"Cats are not meant for pulling chariots!" growled Yami as he quickly stepped aside and stared at Dartz in disbelief that he was actually using cats to pull his chariot "Are you too lazy to walk that you've resorted to such a thing?"

"Normally I'd drive but my car was destroyed!" shouted Dartz who was tempted to try and see if his cats would actually sic Yami "Now attack him my pretties!"

"Meow..." Purr

Much to Dartz's disbelief the cats meowed happily and began to rub up against Yami's leg. Yami knelt down and petted the cats who immediately began to purr contently. This was hardly what Dartz had in mind so he quickly pulled the cats back towards him. Suddenly he got an idea that would prove once and for all that he was far better than Yami.

"If you're so confident that your bicycle is superior Pharoah.." said Dartz with a wicked smile on his face since he was going to have fun "Then I suggest we have a race and see who wins!"

"A bicycle versus a chariot?" asked Yami since it was kind of obvious that Dartz might have a bit of an advantage "Well I accept! You know why?"

"Why?" said Dartz as he grinned like crazy and tightened the reins on all of his felines "You want to be humiliated in front of this pathetic town?"

"No...I have faith that's why" said Yami as he got onto the bicycle and put one of his feet up onto the pedal before closing his eyes "_Guide me heart of the bike..."_

There was a street light up ahead from where Yami and Dartz were, and it was currently red. Both decided that as soon as the light turned green the race would start and it would stop until one of them was no longer able to race. Dartz was pretty confident that he was going to beat Yami in this race with ease. And if by some strange miracle Yami was actually able to keep up, Dartz had a few tricks up his sleeve. So as soon as the light turned green, they were both heading down the street at top speed.

"_Ahh that just made my day!_" thought Tea as she exited the romance novel section with an happy look on her face "_But now I have to keep looking for SexyRedhead_"

Apparently finding a redhead male in the right age category was alot harder than Tea had expected. So far all she had found a was a few college students studying, some beatniks reading poetry while playing bongos, a purple haired kid sitting next to a stack of books, and some pink haired weirdo crying as he read a book. Tea happened to notice the book he was reading and she completely understood why he was crying. After all she cried when she read "For The Love Of A Valkyrie" too. Why? Because she had been foolish enough to waste money on such a crappy book.

"No more!" sobbed Siegfried as he dropped the book onto the floor and continued to cry "I can't take more of this book!"

_"That's exactly what I said when I read it" _thought Tea who almost felt sorry for this weird ultra girly pink haired guy _"But at least he hasn't paid for it yet"_

"Siegfried wrote that book in the first place!" said Leon as he rolled his eyes and resisted the urge to grab the book and slap some sense into his brother "Will you give it a rest already?"

"But now I have what I needed!" cried Siegfried as he suddenly jumped up and flashed a triumphant smile "I have the inspiration to write a sequel to my story!"

_"WHAT?"_

Not only had this pink haired freak conned her out of $9.99 with his first book, and now he wanted to write a sequel? Suddenly everything went completely red and the last thing Tea remembered was grabbing Siegfried by the collar. When she finally snapped out of it, Siegfried was badly beaten and hiding behind Leon. Leon then simply sighed, pulled out $10, and apologized to Tea for his brother's book. After leaving the romance section(and a very traumatized Siegfried) behind, Tea finally found the escalators. She immediately got on the escalator and decided to continue her search on the upper levels. What Tea hadn't noticed though was that there was a redhead following her, just not the one she was looking for...

_"And I thought bookstores were supposed to be boring!" _thought young Alister as he stood a few stairs behind Tea and looked up her skirt _"Guess I was wrong!"_

"Maybe he is down there and I just didn't see him" said Tea as she got a better view of the first floor as the escalator took her higher and higher "After all I didn't check the mens room"

_"The best part is that she doesn't suspect a thing!" _thought Alister as he beamed while staring intently at Tea's panties _"Yeah this is the best thing-"_

"Eww look Raffie!" shouted young Valon as he stood at the bottom of the escalator and pointed up at his friend "Alister's on the escalator and he's looking up that girl's skirt!"

"What? Again?" said young Rafael who had a feeling that his friend was up to no good when he wandered off to the "bathroom" _"And just why am I friends with these two again?"_

"NO I'M NOT!" cried young Alister as his face went completely red and ran down the escalator as quickly as he could "I was just looking for the bathroom!"

Luckily Tea was completely oblivious to the fact that someone had been looking up her skirt. After all the only thing on her mind was finding her online friend and talking some sense into him. If she didn't then he'd probably end up in the hands of a psychopath who'd tear him limb from limb. _I can't let that happen to a great guy like him!_

To Be Continued...

Author's Notes: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! I'm glad that you guys are enjoying the story so far. I know a few people might be confused about little Valon, Alister, and Rafael. They're just pretty much there to prove that although Varon and Amelda are adults, they're still childish at times. Meanwhile both Raphaels are always forced to put up with their antics. I just wanted to clear that up in case anyone was wondering :). Anyways thanks once again:) (tosses candy hearts in the air)


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